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Joke of the Day

"I'm 'confuses systems of measurement' centimetres old."

"What country are you most likely to get a disease? GERMany."

"How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish? He yelled, ""A u, fish!"""

"Bigfoot, an alien, and a Pilgrim walk into a bar. I need a punch line."

"Jesus loves everyone. Except manicurists. He always hated having his nails done."

"What do bees do with their honey? They cell it."

"The year is 2027 AD. I take a drag from my vitamin cigarette and transfer 17 Bitcoins to a 3D-printed babe-bot for a cyber HJ. Life is good."

"Fact: In the 80s nobody could have sex until someone started playing a saxophone."

"[Ghost describing stalker to sketch artist] ""He was a yellow circle with a demonic mouth."" *holds up drawing of Pac-Man* *sobs* THAT'S HIM!"

"What's the difference between Males and Females? An iron."