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Joke of the Day
"Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race."
Next Joke
"Waiter: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?"
"Why do fencers have the most karma on this sub? They are skilled at riposting good content"
"Women treat me like God. They only talk to me when they need something."
"Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? Women working at 900 numbers."
"""Mom, I hate the word, 'Hemorrhoid'. It's like a weird planet. Hi,I'm Hemorroidian! Or oh no! A hemorrhoid is headed 4 Earth!"" -my 12yr old"
"A feminist once asked me, ""What's your view on lesbians?"" I said, ""1080p."""
"A positive parent.. A positive parent said to their negative child... Your grounded."
"Saw my ex-gf being beaten up by 4 guys, so as a human being I had to step in and help.. She didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us"
"What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains! ... I'll show myself out..."