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Joke of the Day
"What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains! ... I'll show myself out..."
Next Joke
"don't tell me starbucks isn't an emotion i feel that shit in my soul"
"If a woman falls in the kitchen and I pretend not to hear it, does she still hear the sound of me tweeting about it?"
"Psssst. Hey you, Yeah you...Facebook parent. Your kid looks the same as it did 8 minutes ago. When you posted the other 45 pics. We get it"
"Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto? Because hes not a planet."
"Two antennas get married... The ceremony was ok, But the reception was great!"
"Where do flying pigs land? the airpork!"
"Piles Day Today is ""World Piles Day"". Get yourself examined thoroughly. If you don't have piles, celebrate . . . . . . . for being the perfect Asshole!"
"What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your truck back, you get your house back, you get your girl back, and you get your dog back."
"Me (digging a hole): how's this? My clone: at least 6 feet deeper Me: you sure there's treasure? My Clone: toss me up your keys bud"