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Joke of the Day

"I hope Donald Trump becomes president. That way we can impeach him and all of USA can tell him ""you're fired""."

"How to cure affluenza? Introduce him to Warhammer."

"*attempts seductive selfie in bed *drops phone on face *chips tooth"

"What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator. Sorry."

"Why do they call him shitman? His name is steven hitman"

"They refused to take my order just because I was wearing a dastardly Dracula cape. The people at the blood bank have no sense of humour."

"*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!"

"I have to look up the word innuendo... If you know what I mean ;) Courtesy of Suits"

"Two muffins are baking in an oven ... And one muffin turns to the other one and says, ""Wow, it's pretty darn hot in here."" The other muffin says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""