170832

Joke of the Day

"What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"Guy paying for condoms at Walgreens got asked if he needed a bag He said back to cashier, ""Nah, her face ain't that bad."""

"I tried to join a local gang of thieves that were stealing supplies from Chinese restaurants in town. I don't think I made the cut though. They told me to go take a walk."

"Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself."

"My staircase was getting a lot of buzz, then it blew up It's gone spiral"

"How does a crackhead order their whiskey? On the rocks"

"What happened to the loser of the Frisbee Championship Finals? He threw it."

"Boyfriend questionnaire: 1) Have job? 2) Have car? 3) Have goals? If you answer yes to any of the above questions thanks but no thanks."

"Thousands of bird droppings are found on a playground.... Police suspect fowl play."

"Did you hear about the man who faked leprosy to get charity handouts? It was a leper con."