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Joke of the Day
"I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created"
Next Joke
"We can talk about either delegates or blowjobs, but a Clinton will always get one or the other under the table."
"Isaac Newton couldn't become a surgeon ... because blood is non-Newtonian!"
"Fred: You've got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No it's roamin' all over your face."
"""I have parrot-like reflexes."" ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"""
"impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon."
"What do feminists and zookeepers have in common? Nothing. Feminists have nothing in common with anyone."
"Co-worker: Did you see that play in the Super Bowl? Worst decision ever. Me: Really? Aren't you married?"
"He: is this love or what? She: What."
"Dinosaurs never had peanut butter and jelly and they all died."