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Joke of the Day

"impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon."

"What should you do if you see your TV floating? Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy."

"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."

"Anyone who says, ""I have never been this offended in my life"" has probably been that offended hundreds of times."

"Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk? Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. All credit goes to the apples and apples folks."

"[karate tournament] coach: Billy sweep the leg! me in the crowd: haha hey billy vacuum his head! *Billy just wails opponent with a Dyson*"

"What's the difference between strange jizz and you? Your mother doesn't love you."

"What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's? Shaking hands."

"Wife just shouted to me to get my big chopper out .After the panic subsided, I realised she meant we were out of firewood for the stove."