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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke...."

"What's E.T. Short for? Cause he's got small legs......"

"Stop. Stop it right now. I'm going to count to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. ~A parenting haiku."

"Bears think if you're lying down motionless, you're dead. So every day, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic."

"Took my girlfriend to a baseball game this last season We made a deal in the beginning. I kiss her on every strike and she kisses me on the balls."

"says if you don't like what you see in the mirror, run the hot water until it fogs up. Problem solved."

"If u wear headphones Upside down...... will the sound be upside down too? HA!"

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his butt."

"So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an Indian. How? See? It's working already."

"Kylo Ren: I can't read your mind! How are you resisting me?! Rey: Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape."