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Joke of the Day

"Took my girlfriend to a baseball game this last season We made a deal in the beginning. I kiss her on every strike and she kisses me on the balls."

"I could argue that someone passing out in the punchline enhances the joke, but that would be faint praise indeed."

"Do those ""selfie sticks"" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?"

"MTV banning a video is kind of like a record store banning a book."

"To bad this upcoming storm isn't called Harry Because: https://imgflip.com/i/gumlv"

"What's the only thing politicians stand for? Reelection."

"Dance like nobody's watching. Because nobody is. Who do you think you are, Baryshnikov? Get over yourself."

"Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river? because he was in Da-Nile"

"1 in 2 in 3 in 4 in 5 doctors are babushka dolls."

"Took my dog to a bonfire... ...and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys."