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Joke of the Day
"What's E.T. Short for? Cause he's got small legs......"
Next Joke
"I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH'S LIKE 3 DAYS"
"TIFU by exclusively using Linkin Park lyrics as replies at work and end up getting a warning letter from HR... But in the end. It doesn't even matter."
"It's crazy they couldn't shut bob marleys coffin when he died It kept jammin"
"Coworker came back into the office after being out sick for one day. Me: Feeling better? Him: Yea, I had a bad case of Ass Glaucoma. Me: What? Him: Yea! I couldn't see my ass being drug to work!"
"Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin'? I come to watc-- Lamppost: Nice scarf princess."
"A man walks into a bar with a gun and yells ""WHO SLEPT WITH MY WIFE! I'M GONNA KILL 'EM!"" A man calmly stands up and says, ""You ain't got enough bullets, mate."""
"I remember the last thing my granpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. he said, ""hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"The best writerly advice is to start each paragraph w ""Here's somethin for ya!"" as the reader is now engaged & will follow you anywhere"
"Can we PLEASE... stop beating a dead gorilla."