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Joke of the Day

"Just had a very embarrassing misunderstanding with my new Irish girlfriend. Turns out she just wanted me to take her in the Yaris."

"Welcome to woodworking club, please make a seat."

"Why can't Buddhists vacuum in corners? Because they don't have attachments!"

"What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl? Her resume."

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."

"Happy Columbus Day! The man invented OUR modern work culture! He set out to do somethin, stumbled upon somethin else & took credit for it!"

"Dear Muslim refugees: just pretend to be Christian. That's what most Christians do anyways."

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a dick in someones mouth."

"A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours."

"if you love dictionaries so much why dont you Merriam"