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Joke of the Day

"""Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."""

"I'm the kind of guy who would feel morally obligated to eat what I kill... So please don't try to rob my house..."

"Biology: The science of writing awesome bios."

"Did anyone else think that... Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?"

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"

"Break ups are the worst in China... You see her face everywhere."

"TIFU by buying an MP5K instead of a Mini-Uzi from the Arms Store... Whoops, wrong sub."

"What's the difference between love and lust? ""About two-hundred dollars."" - Johnny Carson"

"Hollywood led me to believe I would have to do way more heat/AC duct crawling than I've had to do."

"What a gay spermatozoide says to an other gay sermatozoide ? Damn dude i can't See anything through all That Shit."