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Joke of the Day

"Jesus can walk over water. I can walk over a cucumber. A cucumber exists of 90% water. This means I'm 90% Jesus."

"What do you get when you cross Hitler with a black woman? Aw sieg heil no!"

"I got a boner at a funeral today.... Mourning wood."

"i just read this article...did you know 50% of asian business men have cataracts... the other half drive rincoln towncars"

"My son asked me the definition of impending doom. I just said, 'you know when you smell dog poop in the house, but you can't see it? That.'"

"Dear GPS, Please add an, ""avoid ghetto"" option. Sincerely, Scared"

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross Country."

"I thought the author of Harry Potter was a guy. J.K."

"Based on statistics The most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead."

"My friend was being attacked by a duck I tried to warn him but it only made things worse."