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Joke of the Day

"Jesus can walk over water. I can walk over a cucumber. A cucumber exists of 90% water. This means I'm 90% Jesus."

"The deadliest Knock Knock joke... [PERSON 1] Knock knock [PERSON 2] Who's there? [PERSON 1] You know... [PERSON 2] You know who [PERSON 2] AVADA KEDAVRA!!!"

"Girl, You're like the devil. Hot as hell and horny."

"Why did Ginger go to the psych ward? Ginger snaps"

"What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people? A cannibal."

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

"Why couldn't the man marry the melon? It was a cantaloupe."

"I visited the new aviary everyone's talking about but I think it's for the birds."

"I'm not sure where you ladies go to learn how to argue, but that place is good"

"Why are cigarette taxes such a safe bet right now? One way or the other, there's going to be a lot of smoking over the next four years."