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Joke of the Day

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the contortionist that fell in love? She was heels over head for him!"
"Congratulations on being hired by Super Cuts & welcome to day 1 training. Let's get started These are called scissors *collective aww*"
"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?... Make me one with everything."
"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion He was outstanding in his field"
"Why wasn't Euro Disney popular? Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered."
"I saw a fight between a group of Gay guys.... Blows were exchanged."
"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He's a serial killer named Terrence Fishman & he plans to kill you Monday"
"What did the one continental plate say to the other after the earthquake... not MY fault"
"""It got weird, didn't it? "" *Leaves on a pogo stick.*"