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Joke of the Day

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"Fastening a pendant around my son's neck before dying for him, ""Keep this always. The audience won't recognize you as an adult without it"""

"What's the best thing about fingering a psychic who's on her period? You get your palm red"

"Welcome to Dick's hotdogs, if you like hotdogs, you'll love dicks."

"Ruin a hipster's day by telling them how commercial you think their favorite band has become."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it."

"You know, there's one thing I have yet to witness in life. A crippled stand-up comedian."

"Any recommendations for a new chiropractor? Dr. Reece Etmabak."

"People always tell me to act my age so I bought expensive cheese."

"TIL that semantics is a contraction of ""Semite Antics"" That's not true, I made that up just now. You are a racist."