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Joke of the Day

"You know, there's one thing I have yet to witness in life. A crippled stand-up comedian."

"*Someone sends me a 4 minute video* me: [42 seconds later] wow that's so awesome thanks for sharing!"

"LPT: if you are lost in japan, ask for soy sauce ...it will shoyu the way"

"Katherine lost both her arms in an accident. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Katherine."

"Why is Oklahoma the bleh state? Because it's just OK"

"What did the doe say as she came out of the forest? I'll never do that for 5 bucks again."

"A shop assistant dared to ask me why I needed twenty pots of Tippex this morning. Big mistake."

"Why did the Khmer Rouge smoke weed? Because Pol Pot's followers are called Potheads."

"There's a new Fast & Furious ride at Universal Studios I really hope I don't get Paul Walkers car"

"gang leader: ""this isnt what i meant when i said go rob the store"" me: [putting 19 cartons of milk in fridge] ""you should be more specific"""