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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to Dick's hotdogs, if you like hotdogs, you'll love dicks."

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"People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides"
"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night, I'm not letting you out!"
"what's the most gangsta cell phone you can buy? a 4G phone because it's for G's."
"What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!"
"How can you tell which lesbian in the relationship does the cooking? Neither, they both eat out."
"*beep TSA: here try again *beep TSA: here try again *beep TSA: here try again ME: WTF? TSA: Sorry dude it was my watch. Here's your pants."
"My wife recently started snoring, so I decided to use earplugs. but I can only get one in before she wakes up, turns out she doesn't like it when I shove earplugs in her nose."
"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar"
"Bruce Wayne was terrified of bats & he became Batman, so anyway that's why I became ClownBaboonDentistMan"