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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about fingering a psychic who's on her period? You get your palm red"

"What type of bonds deals with the bad guys? James"

"Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping."

"[NSFW] I like my men like I like my coffee liquified in my favorite mug"

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None it should be open when she brings it to you"

"I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!"

"If OP was a Pizza Delivery Driver, how much would he make? Nothing because OP never delivers."

"I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays When people go to ask me ""hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"" I'll be like ""nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"""

"What's the real definition of trust? Two gay cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"How do you know if a pepper is starting a fight with you? It gets jalapeno face."