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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the oyster have any friends? He was shellfish. Woo! Been thinking for days trying to come up with some OC to blast your brains with."

"TLC Touching Little Children"

"Doctor Doctor you've taken out my tonsils my adenoids my gall bladder my varicose veins and my appendix but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you!"

"Broken pencils are pointless."

"Hungry A man asks a hungry man what makes 2+2 Hungry : 4 loaves"

"I've just been at the hospital having a mole removed from my penis. I wont be shagging one of those again!"

"I like the term ""making a name for yourself"" It implies your parents were wrong."

"I can't stand sitting down"

"Last night I got drunk and lonely, so I tried the peanut butter with my dog trick... ...still tasted like dog cock."

"Two baloons meet each other in a garden shop... The first one says to the other: Don't go that way, there's a cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"