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Joke of the Day

"Why did John Snow get an iPhone? For the watch."

"So they're making a Hulk body wash... You apply it with a Loofah Rigno."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brighton ! Brighton who ? Brighton-der the light of the moon !"

"What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to - it can't here you!"

"What's a cats favorite song? 3 blind mice"

"A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,"

"Tombstones should just say how old the person was. I don't wanna walk around doing grave math."

"1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, ""It has to look like an accident."" 4. Walk away."

"I don't get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There's never any left when he comes home. Idiot."

"If I had more than one kid, I'd call the second kid ... ... etcetera. - Marilyn Manson in his 2013 interview with Larry King."