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Joke of the Day
"Tombstones should just say how old the person was. I don't wanna walk around doing grave math."
Next Joke
"If it was Raining Men I doubt anyone'd say Hallelujah. Pretty sure people'd be screaming things like, ""Augh! That guy just killed my mom!"""
"This came to me randomly today; not sure if old, or OC... How does Hannibal Lecter like his eggs? Ovaries-y"
"Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."
"One time I shot a gun... And the gun died!"
"I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks."
"A modern recasting of Moses floating down a river in a wicker basket but it's a soccer mom forgetting her baby on the roof of her van."
"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem."
"Chihuahuas are a lot like farts... ...only their owners can stand them."
"I stole Stephen Hawking's wheelchair today I thought it was hilarious, he had nothing to say on the matter."