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Joke of the Day

"This company is like a ship with a hole in the bottom, leaking water. And my job is to get the ship pointed in the right direction."

"Hey you just shot my wife. I'm so sorry have a shot at mine !"

"In LGBTQ acronym, ""Q"" stands for ""queer"" or ""questioning""... It's the ""Don't ask, can't tell"" sexual orientation."

"My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up"

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her So I hit her over the head with my Xbox."

"Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed."

"""Are you okay?"" Me anytime I meet someone named Annie."

"Sinbad isn't just a comedian's name - it's also an extremely short summary of The Bible"

"Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I'd like to read a medication bottle that says ""May Cause Multiple Orgasms"""

"*wakes up the guy next to me* wow theres a sleepy boy here on this plane haha. Im on business myself. tryin to see if iceland is made of ice"