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Joke of the Day

"A girl called me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home!"" I went over. Nobody was home."

"What is the square root of 69? Eight something. Get it?"

"Dear little baby Jesus, If I got what I deserved, it'd be bad. But my daddy deserves the best. Please send him a handsome son-in-law. Amen"

"Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other ""How do you get to the other side?"" ""You are on the other side"" the other blonde yells back."

"Finish this thought A man lands on his driveway, gets out of his spaceship, enters his home to find..."

"so a comedian is sent out in war he ends up doing puns of damage to the enemy"

"Why did Moses part his hair? To make a path for the Israelice."

"I've never finished a marathon, but one time I finished a whole bag of Peanut Butter Crunch even though the roof of my mouth was all tore up"

"Why did Sara fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock..who's there..Not Sara."

"Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower is the most violent sound ever. ""U OK in there? Sounds like a Michael Bay film in that bathroom!"""