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Joke of the Day

"Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other ""How do you get to the other side?"" ""You are on the other side"" the other blonde yells back."

"12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What's wrong with the one we live in? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son."

"I enjoy cereal so much.. I enjoy cereal so much that I started incorporating it into other aspects of my life. For example, I don't get blue balls, I get Grape-Nuts."

"My essay for graduate school reeks of bullshit and broken dreams disguised as lessons learned."

"Do you know whats black on the bottom and white on top? Society"

"I will always remember the last thing my Grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said- ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket""?"

"2 Transformers got married Soon thereafter, they had a baby Transformer. But at that moment when they had a baby, they suddenly could not be seen anymore. They had become Transparents."

"I'm not a racist. Racist people go to jail, and jail is for black people."

"If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die"

"""Eat my pussy, you salty whore!"" Said the chef working at a Chinese food restaurant to the prostitute who just spilled her salt on herself and was reluctant to eat the meal before her."