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Joke of the Day

"The people who shout the loudest about their all powerful God protecting them & delivering them from any evil, also own a gun, just in case."

Next Joke
 
"Be back in a few days. Gotta shave my legs for spring. But, before I go, what's the best way to sharpen hedge trimmers?"
"How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten Tickles"
"I see you've blocked me on all social media sites & moved house without leaving a forwarding address Baby, does this mean we're on a break?"
"Fact: Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I fall into a pit of quicksand."
"Seeing a stuffed deer head on a wall makes me imagine its legs in the next room, just flailing around wildly."
"I get it short people, I get it. Oooops sorry typo, I'll get it short people, I'll get it."
"What's the motto of the Greek army? Never leave your buddy's behind."
"So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, ""I will kill you in your sleep."""
"What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married."