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Joke of the Day

"How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten Tickles"

"My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne."

"I have found that there are three kinds of people; Those who can count and those who can't."

"Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go ""Oh, this is where I get off"" then close my eyes & stick my hand in my pants."

"Today I was asked, ""What is something you prefer from a sexual partner, but could go without?"" ""Consent"""

"I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one."

"Sorry in advance Why did Helen Keller dog kill itself? You would to if your name was aaaaaaaauuuuggggfdddshnvxxkjkuuokkgdsgj"

"When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?"

"I was looking at the fruit in the bowl, thinking... How the fuck did I end up with a gay goldfish..."

"A tourist asks a Scottish villager ""Do you have a local attraction?"" ""We used to- he answers- but she got married."""