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Joke of the Day

"Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face."

"NASA announces rover ""Curiosity"" landed safely on Mars. In a related story, Martians are reportedly furious over the death of their cat...vow revenge."

"What did the optometrist give Helium? A pair of noble glasses"

"My Grandfather was one of those Unorthodox Jews. He was a Nazi."

"Did you hear what happened after an Iranian mullah walked head-first into an airplane propeller? The shi'ite really hit the fan."

"So If I get lucky with a Native American... Do I get to say I Poked her in her Hontas?"

"""What's green and eats nuts?"" ""Syphilis!"""

"A nun was kidnapped No offence but she was asking for it. Nun taken."

"People are writing condolences on my Grandma's Facebook that sound more like Yelp reviews of her. Great woman, very loving, 5/5 stars"

"Telling a girl to calm down: works about as well as trying to baptize a cat."