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Joke of the Day

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for an hour... light him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"I hate when people say, ""I wish I was a kid again."" Did you have sex and drink alcohol as a kid? Nope. So shut the fuck up. Goodnight."

"How much money does a gay pornstar earn? A buttload"

"A copy of Mein Kampf that belonged to Hitler was sold at auction for over $20,000... to an anonymous presidential candidate."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys. I onder hich one."

"Tried belly dancing but ended up looking like an insect about to die."

"What do you call a rabbi with heart burn? Acidic Jew"

"Two Lesbian Vampires have just had sex.... and one says to the other: ""Same time next month?"""

"If meat is murder... ...then is cake battery?"