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Joke of the Day

"Finally finished reading the iTunes license agreement. There's a killer recipe for duck a l'orange on page 6,374."

"You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... it feels good until you look down and realize you're gay."

"Why does Beyonce sing, ""To the left, to the left!""? Because black women have no rights."

"[an octopus seeing a snake for the first time] OMG a foot!"

"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys it?"

"Why did the storm trooper get an iPhone? He couldn't find the Droid he was looking for"

"I pushed a hipster down the stairs today... He's still Tumbling!"

"Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law."

"The first time I got a universal remote control... I thought to myself, ""This changes everything."""