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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem? A fungi to hang out with"

"Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it."

"Some members of Alphaville wanted to undergo Freud based therapy. They talked it out and decided it would be better to stay forever Jung."

"I just read a story about someone finding a dead body at a Walmart. HOW EMBARRASING, I'd never be caught dead at a Walmart."

"What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only suffered super fish oil injuries, but I'm lucky I wasn't krilled!"

"My bitchy girlfriend and I broke up, because she's moving to another state. I'll miss her a lot. I mean, my aim's good, but not *that* good."

"What was the Seagull's favorite online streaming service? Netfocks"

"Congratulations. You're 18. On a list of 20 people that I want to kill."

"I thought my witty comeback was completely original.... Turns out it was a riposte."