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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth? One was planned."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegtable? Putting her back in the wheel chair..."

"How do you confuse a straight person? Tell them they're straight."

"Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation? 0mg"

"Get an attack dog, name it Anxiety, laugh and laugh and laugh at Anxiety attacks."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because she suspected that 7 knew she had witnessed a murder he had committed the night before."

"I remember your face, and I even remember what we talked about, but what the hell was your name again?!"

"Welcome to Chili's here's your dirty fork, don't forget to spit on our hostess on the way out."

"I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car"

"When the book of Revelations was written, the writer wrote that the end of the world would be signaled by trumpets. In fact, God had said Trump/Pence."