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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegtable? Putting her back in the wheel chair..."

"Make sure you finish all of your math homework, there are dumb kids in America who can't add - parents in China, probably"

"There's 2 types of people in this world... Ones that pee in the shower And liars"

"My 6 year old niece told me this one. What do you call an alligator who likes to wear vests? (_) ( _)>- (_) An investigator"

"If a girl stabbed me on our first date, how many days should I wait to ask her out again?"

"Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal"

"Knock knock Who's there? An owl An owl who? That's my line!"

"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"They asked if I wear boxers or briefs.... Depends"

"5yo: Can we go get a turtle? They're so cool! Me: Whats so cool about turtles? 5yo: They can breath thru their butts! Me: Grab your coat.."