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Joke of the Day

"I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car"

"Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much"

"*runs into wife on the way to see his mistress* Aww are those flowers for me? -Uh...yeah Is there a card too? *with a mouthful of paper* No"

"I heard that they're coming up with a new Tron movie which deals with particle physics... Its called new-Tron."

"The makers of Dr Pepper are changing their recipe, using less expensive ingredients. The new soda will be called, Nurse Practicioner Pepper."

"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? The circus has a bunch of cunning stunts..."

"The difference between ""she's jogging & healthy"" vs ""she's in danger & I should help"" is headphones."

"What's the difference between your mom and 3 dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Wanna meet Santa's little helper?"

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Wrong size. Should have bought from Zappos. (Note: original story reference here - it wasn't Hemingway: http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/babyshoes.asp)"