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Joke of the Day

"When the book of Revelations was written, the writer wrote that the end of the world would be signaled by trumpets. In fact, God had said Trump/Pence."

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""" I am so damn indecisive! "" said the man. "" How did you come to that conclusion? "" said the other."
"How many Juggalos does it take to change a light bulb? FUCKIN' LIGHT BULBS! HOW DO THEY WORK!?!"
"My niece just asked for ""cow juice."" So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood."
"What do you get with legalized prostitution and a highly competitive marketplace? The best bang for your buck."
"How do you spell candy with two letters? C and Y"
"Nothing's sadder than the look on my dog's face when I reach under the kitchen table to pet her and she realizes my hand is empty."
"What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker? Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*"
"My credit card is like a stripper. There isn't much on it."
"was thinking i would go away this easter. figured i would just hang around instead. its what jesus would have done"