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Joke of the Day

"If it's illegal for clowns to walk around town... Then why can they run for president?"

"My friend left his laptap on the floor in my living room. My other friend thought it was a scale. Conclusion: She weighs $950."

"The only difference between politics and religion is whether the hope is for this life, or the next."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Caesars"

"Why didn't Hitler participate in the marathon? ... Because he can't finish a race."

"A little girl said ""I looked into the parlour, and I saw my sister take off her clothes. I saw my sisters music teacher take off his clothes."" ""Perhapse they were going to piss on the piano""?"

"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."

"So I found out about this huge magnet near my house. It's called a Walmart and it pulls all the fat people in my town close to it."

"Why do dogs chase cats? To get dat pussy. . . . . . . I'll show myself the door."

"I am not a gay man.. And neither is my husband !"