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Joke of the Day

"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."

"Boobs My wife has eczema all over her chest. She's got a cracking pair of boobs."

"A joke about all the leaders of the countries the U.S. has invaded... [removed] > > > > > > From power."

"I'm as useless as the top two buttons on a Greek mans dress shirt."

"You know how I feel when I had sex with a rather large girl before she became extremely attractive? It's okay, because I fucked her before it was cool. *Throws on hipster glasses*"

"What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler? How red their necks are."

"What's the most flexible type of music group? An elastic band."

"Why is a wizard so good in bed? Because he is never late, nor is he early. He reaches orgasm precisely when he means to."

"yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck."

"Pretty sure my first black friend was ""The Wire."""