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Joke of the Day

"TIL of a man who masturbated in public for 16 hours straight before police arrived. He was wrist strained."

"I bet you've already heard this It's a pretty common word."

"Seahawks on the Super Bowl Hey, so are you guys wanting to win the Super Bowl? Nah, we'll pass."

"Sarah Jessica Parker had a leaked sex tape... The man has been arrested for bestiality."

"If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office"

"[First date] Ok, don't let her know you're a pharmacist Her: Can you pass the salt? ""Sure, it'll be ready in two hours."""

"Who would won in a wrestling match; Lemmy or God? Trick question, lemmy is god... R.I.P. Edit* win not won damnit..."

"Toy Story (1995): A young boy's toy chest becomes possessed by haunted dolls, forcing the family to move away. But the dolls find him."

"An alcoholic walks into a bar"

"Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies? Mac users have no CTRL"