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Joke of the Day

"If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office"

"My life selling houses by Con Allday"

"Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist"

"One liners are great. Two liners are better."

"I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided."

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"

"Remember, tomorrow is Good Friday So let's all act like Jesus and get completely hammered."

"I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord."

"What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner? Cellfcentered"

"Why are Nazis such bad DJs? Because they dont get the difference between 33 and 45."