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Joke of the Day
"What did my step-dad say before bludgeoning by brother to death with a vacuum cleaner? Dyson."
Next Joke
"Nothing terrifies me more than hearing, ""Mommy close your eyes I have a present."""
"perfect vision Whenever someone asks me what I plan on doing in five years I always get frustrated. Like c'mon guys I don't have 2020 vision."
"Rhinos produce 1,346,980 sperm cells per ejaculation... I guess its because they're always so horny..."
"""Well, you should have been more specific before I painted all these veins."" - designer of the Wienermobile"
"What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night."
"My fire alarm just went off because I took my shower. Ya, I know I'm hot when I'm naked, but come on now, let's all just calm down."
"""Did you watch Big Hero 6?"" ""No, I still haven't seen Big Hero 1-5."""
"So a giraffe walks into a bar... and says, ""High balls, on me!"""
"The backside of women is my second favorite part. It's right behind the front."