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Joke of the Day

"There's 2 types if redditors Those who repost jokes And those who complain about the first type"

"I made a graph of my past girlfriends. It has an ex axis and a why axis."

"Excuse me, you with the heels that make your calves perfect, designer dress that accentuates your curves.... You have lettuce in your teeth"

"NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike [boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself] PATIENT: *Opens one eye*"

"[confession booth] me: *sneezes* priest: I'm not falling for that one again dan"

"ant-man: im here to stop u bad guy: [pulls out a can of Raid] ant-man: motherf"

"All I'm saying is no one ever country westerns you like a hurricane."

"Happy new year everyone! Sorry, I'm a premature congratulator."

"Nobody's taking my presidential campaign seriously. I'll bet this has something to do with my lack of serious sexual indiscretions."

"What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman? A pregnant woman is in Labour"