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Joke of the Day

"Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Because they're always out for blood!"

"I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal."

"180 degree Celsius = pi radian Celsius"

"My boss kept saying he's dating himself. I told him he could do better."

"You can use your cat as a towel. There's no specific laws against it."

"Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because he kept running out of the pen..."

"From Neil Gaiman's ""Sandman"" A woman is crying on the street: ""HELP! I've been reaped!"" ""You mean raped?"" asked a man. ""No! he used a scythe!"""

"What would be a terrible name for a new beer? Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer? A: ""Mondays""...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays..."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne. Acne waits until you're thirteen to come on your face."

"One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk"