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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne. Acne waits until you're thirteen to come on your face."

"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""

"What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand? O Cristor Redundant"

"Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody's gettin' ready for the world's end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?"

"After a klose game with messi challenges and neuer goal scoring opportunities, ze Germans kept their cool and gotze World Cup that they deserved!"

"If Clinton gets elected, federal employees will be LEGALLY allowed to consume cannabis! If you smoke, you have to say ""I did not inhale"" and if you do edibles, you have to say ""I did not swallow"""

"Today I saw nice ass, huge cocks, hot chicks and wet pussy. It was a nice day at the farm."

"What did the cancer patient say to the nurse? [NSFW] [EDIT] I forgot the joke. Fuck."

"""Sure, you could bury it but hear me out."" Taxidermy is invented."

"Did you hear the joke about the pedophile with a Mexican fetish? He only wanted a little Juan."