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Joke of the Day

"One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk"

"In Germany, these are the three main fat groups: 1. Gesattigt Fett (Saturated Fat) 2. Trans Fett (Trans Fat) 3. Boba Fett"

"What do you call a baby bull? A bully!"

"Why did the mission control operator tell the astronauts not to eat any food? She saw some off-nom telemetry."

"I wish I could go back in time so I could remember where I was going with this update"

"A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours."

"Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium"

"Did you hear that the Department of Agriculture is outlawing round bales of hay? They claimed the cows weren't getting a square meal."

"If Satan ever loses his hair, there will be Hell toupee."

"H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge . :)"