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Joke of the Day

"He who goes to bed with itchy butt Wakes with smelly finger . -dad"

"How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its USB cable."

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on his veranda? Patty O'Furniture."

"Why are wedding gowns white? Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge"

"How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy? They have a semillon!"

"I just had my fence destroyed by a tornado, and I am asking for your help I heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting here."

"Why did the libertarian cross the road? None of your goddamn business. Am I being detained?"

"Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!"

"Thank Satan it's Monday."

"Parkinson's Disease was named after its discoverer, Dr. Timothy Disease."