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Joke of the Day

"Why did the libertarian cross the road? None of your goddamn business. Am I being detained?"

"If I'm facing away from you during sex, assume I'm quietly enjoying a snack."

"3 Muslims walk into an airport and a metro station in Brussels, what happens? 216 virgins."

"A sandwich walks into a bar. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: ""Sorry, we don't serve food in here."""

"What did the Nazi without a car say? Damnit! Now I'm going to have to sieg HAIL a cab!"

"I am the guy who keeps posting in the wrong sub! AMA!"

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? It sounds like shit"

"[rookie undercover] *walks up to dealer* ""yo you a cop"" um no ""hmm ok what you want"" EIGHT COCAINES PLEASE *gives thumbs up to chief in car*"

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind it is too cheesy."

"Christmas cards are how old people say, ""Hey, you thought I was dead, but I'm not!"""