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Joke of the Day
"Why did the libertarian cross the road? None of your goddamn business. Am I being detained?"
Next Joke
"Which plant talks the most crap? Shiitake mushrooms."
"[1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives"
"My father would always tell me, ""Son, someday you will go far..."" ""and I hope to God that you stay there."""
"Chuck Norris can hit Mach 3 in his hot-air balloon."
"Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner? Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines."
"Did you hear about that synthetic type of weed they made using dog hair? Instead of k2, they call it k9."
"How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone? Just wait, they'll tell you."
"I put the D in Fucking because I know that's what you really want. -autocorrect"
"I know of a guy who eats only thorns in meals... ...guess he's a prickly eater"