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Joke of the Day

"Parkinson's Disease was named after its discoverer, Dr. Timothy Disease."

"What does ISIS and a great joke have in common? A great execution."

"Somehow I missed my turn into my driveway and ended up at the pub few blocks over"

"[walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me"

"So my friend told me that he has been constipated for the past three weeks... I'm pretty sure he's full of shit."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a battery? Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/how_many_feminists_does_it_take_to_change_a/"

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill?.....He walks Jk Rowling"

"How to leave someone on the edge of their seat:"

"A sober Irishman arrives goes home after work... That's it."

"I thought it was sweet that the Democratic debate maintained a Paris related theme... The whole debate was Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley Eiffel Towering Hillary Clinton."