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Joke of the Day
"*Throws Pizza party *B.Y.O.Pizza *Gather All the pizza's *Kicks everyone out."
Next Joke
"[courtroom] Timothy: I was not involved Victor: Nor was I Lawyer: You could say it was a Vic-, Tim-less cri- Judge: You're all going to jail"
"Be careful, newbies. Twitter changes you. I used to be Puerto Rican, now I'm Irish."
"I hurt myself doing the Safety Dance."
"[Truth or Dare] Her: What's your biggest secret? Salazar Slytherin: *sweating* No secrets here haha. Definitely not a chamber full of 'em"
"I'm confused about plants"
"I would like to go to Holland Wooden shoe"
"I told my doctor that I recently broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"I would tell you the one about the broken pencil. But there's no point to it."
"I used to think I was trapped inside a woman's body Then I was born"