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Joke of the Day

"[courtroom] Timothy: I was not involved Victor: Nor was I Lawyer: You could say it was a Vic-, Tim-less cri- Judge: You're all going to jail"

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"Why can you always trust a bee without wings? Because it's down to earth."
"What do right-handed people hate most? [NSFW] Having to switch hands at the computer."
"Chuck Norris went down to the crossroads just to pimp-slap the devil."
"I'll agree to almost anything if you set a cupcake in front of me. I won't be listening. Because...cupcake."
"Why was the plumber stressed? He had a high pressure job"
"What do you do to get rid of an obese demon? You exorcise him."
"I'm sorry' and I apologize' generally mean the same thing Except at Funerals"
"A Sober Irishman"
"Why is Pokemon quite realistic? Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa."