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Joke of the Day

"I told my doctor that I recently broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar . . . . . . then she walks into a table, she knocks over a lamp, barks her shins on the ottoman, spills a drink . . . it's fine I'll show myself out."

"Just got out of the shower and realized I forgot to wash my butthole. Oh well, there's always next Sunday."

"I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp."

"First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework."

"Tell your kids where hotdogs come from first. They won't ever ask about babies."

"I'm pretty sure the whole ""ladies first"" thing was created by a guy just to check out ass."

"Have you heard of divorced barbie? Her set costs $450. ...mostly because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and one of Ken's friends."

"Roe v Wade is my favorite bitter controversy about the best way to cross a small river."

"Man I hate shower sex... Its hot, crowded, and i can never fit my junk into the faucet."