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Joke of the Day

"I'm confused about plants"

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"One day, someone is going to hold you so tight, that all of your broken pieces fit back together."
"What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction? One can... ""Get Hard"""
"I haven't had a server go down on me that long since New Year at Hooters. Edit for explanation: https://techcrunch.com/2016/08/11/reddit-is-currently-experiencing-a-major-outage/"
"There was a masturbating contest ... ... I didn't win though, I came in second place."
"As a parent, the only warm meal I get around here is ice cream."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It goes by faster if you're fat."
"Postman told me he was going on holidays.... I asked him if it was Parcelona or Istampbul he was headed to... Just said it was a stag do for his friend Ah, an all mail party I exclaimed"
"What do you call Jewish folk that died from agent orange? *german accent* Orange Juice"
"The way I bend the rules should qualify as yoga."